B C

I drool. I can see it this close to me.
I see your hand branch out and then become one,juicy whole. Silently,you pick your victim.This girl who is swaying with every movement of the bus,is actually a no-looker.But oooh! Do you care? You look at the opportunity.

So do I.

You move furtively closer. The girl unconcernededly stands looking out,at passing buses and rushing scenes.She is almost within touching distance.The bus gives a lurch and you “accidently” let go of the rod above and slide your weight onto the girl.

There is utter bliss on your face. The girl beneath you is struggling, furious and red in the face. You’re making strangled noises and no move to do anything.I silently move into the space behind you and pull out an inch long round object. A flick of a practiced finger and the inch long round object puffs up and becomes golf-sized ball.

It has feet. And teeth.

I bend down under the pretext of helping the girl.And fix the round ball to the seat of your pants. Its clever.It uses its feet to move to the softest part of your butt. It opens its mouth. It bites.

Its 320 minute teeth fitted with sharp needle like pins with twist-shut circular mechanism have zeroed in and locked itself onto two inch radius of butt-meat. You experience excruciating pain and then faint. No one around you cares as the girl has pushed you aside and is rearranging her tee. The pincers move anti-clockwise. The chunk of butt-meat and covering trouser-bit disappear into a special spill-proof sac inside the “buttcutter”. It dislodges itself and falls off the “bad-man’s” butt.
Its inbuilt sensor and compass tells it-“North East”.It quietly rolls thataway and stops. Which is where I’m standing.I casually bend down,pick it up and shove it into my pocket.
And get off the bus.
As I walk home,a stray,which has watched me alight,follows me.I take a turn,unscrew the Buttcutter and let the round pieceomeat fall down.The stray jumps and out of habit,gulps it in one shot.

No chew.No Sweat. No evidence.

Only another story in the evening news about how this is the 4th incident of a dazed man being brought to hospital with no clue about why his bum has a 2 inch wide hole.

Reaching home,I wash my face. And the BC…as I fondly call it.

You see, I do NOT like being pawed.

Talaash

Badan ki taak pe rakha hai teri nazron ko
Kho gaya ik nazar mein,kaise kahein ab mera…
Ho gaya ek zehan ka maalik ye
Chod kar mere dil ki nagari ko

Jadoo ki kahani aati hai
Pariyon si jawaani aati hai
Is Alhad chanchal ladki ko
Har cheez churani aati hai

Ik Dil,Ik Jaan,Mera Ghar,Aasmaan
Meri barf si qaid jawaani bhi
Le gayi,Le gayi ,baaqi na bachi
Meri koi puraani nishani bhi

Ab naam pata,kuch hosh nahi
Bas uske dar ka pata hai mujhe…
Hassta chehra…khushboo mein basi….
Kya tumne bhi dekha hai use?

Phir Se!

Thoda thoda dard bacha tha,phir se tum muskaye kyun?
Phirse jeena seekh rahi thi,tum phir se paas aaye kyun?
Mujhe pata main kathputli hoon,mann pathar mein badal diya,
Pathar mein phir pran phoonkne… phir se khel rachaye kyun?

Ek baar tum tod chuke ho,mann ki partein khol chuke ho
Seedhi sachi choti si ye baat samajh na aaye kyun?
Kyun aatur mann tumhe dekhne,kar bechaare kayin bahaane
Raah mein teri bicchh jaata hai…chot maangta hi rehta hai?

Dhoop ko,baarish ki boondon ko taras gayi thi
Bas khidki se jeevan behta dekh rahi thi,bandhi hui thi…
Ab jab jaana,peeche mudkar aankhen geeli mat kar lena!
Sab Natak hai! Peeche mud kar phir se waapas mat aajaana…

Sirf naam ko,saath khade hone ke liye , mat aana tum…
Naye mitr , kuch choti khushiyan-main jee loongi jee bhar kar!
Nayi kahani ban jayegi,naye paatr main gadh loongi ji
Indradhanush ke rangon se main phir bhar loongi apna ghar!

Hasratein...

Subah ke saaye nazar se pighle
Tumhari chaahat mein ghul gaye hum

Wo unchhuaa sa… labon ka jadoo
Wo cheeni mitti si meri hasrat
Na jaane kaisa tha rang tera…
Na jaane kaisa tha roop mera
Kahin juda se nahi the hum-tum…

Nazar mein bhar lo mujhe, bujha do...
Hawa me udte tamaam jugnu.

Main tujh me lipti…bujhi hui si
Dhooen ki chaadar phisal rahi hai
Subah ke saaye…hamari chaahat
Na jaane kaise pighal rahe hai…

Yunhi

Yunhi kabhi main mili thi tumse...
Yunhi tumhari hassi ne mere ajeeb dil ko rula diya tha.
Koi wajah thi ki tum mein meri nazar ka kona attuck gaya tha?

Main uth rahi thi…chale gaye tum
Na jaane Main kyun zameen se chipki…tumhare jaane ko dekhte thi?
Kyun mann ne chaha hazaar chup-si pukaar dekar tumhe bulana?

Nahi mile phir…wo akhari tha hamara milna.

Agar kabhi tum miloge mujhse to sach kahoongi...
Hazaar lamhe guzar chuke hain
Hazaar sadiyan bikhar gayeen hain
Magar wo alhad ajeeb ladki…wahin khadi hai

Na jaagti hai…na poochti hai…na sochti hai…na maangti hai
Koi zaroorat…na koi khwahish…na koi mannat…na muskurahat.

Wo chup-si ladki wahin khadi hai
.

There's always time:)

Life is a joy! Its a delicious mish mash of 20 different things all vying for your attentions...but what is No. 1 priority?
YOU:))
If you are not happy, calm and fulfilled from inside,you can't make anyone happy.Period!

You need to pamper yourself completely!Its easy beyond any imagination...and I can guarentee you 100% success in getting ALL your stresses out of your way.

Don't believe me ,do you?

Ok-here goes-all of life's stresses can be solved by a few simple things:
-A Pen
-A Notebook
-One measure of complete trust in yourself:)
-Oh-and respect for your own inner self.

Thats it!!

Everytime you are faced with 15 different things to do-whip out the pen and notebook and create a list
-starting with the most crucial ones petering down in importance:)

-Respect your abilities by writing expected time to complete them-one by one-and start off after a hot cup of Excellent Darjeeling Tea(I did say,pamper yourself"??).

-Carry the tea in a party glass,if you do not have the time to sip it slowly.

-Tick each job once completed.The trick is to NOT look down the list anymore.

-Do NOT call friends,detour at your favorite jewellery showroom or admire yourself in shop windows till done.

-You need to motivate yourself in the middle? Have a Snickers in your bag handy at all times:)

I have a list stuck to my refrig which goes:

When you do not have a maid....:

-Reach Home Safe(Don't Hurry:)-45 mins
-Have a shower-20 mins
-Prepare Sambhar and Rice and Veggies(or Maggi/Upma with Raita,if late:))-30 mins
-Fix the bedroom/kidz room while listening to radio-15 mins
-Check on Homework for Ana-30 mins
-Get Ana to pack school bag and polish her shoes while you transfer food into bowls and set the Dining Table-15 mins
-Make Ana eat dinner,brush her teeth,sleep-30 mins
-Prepare basics for breakfast and lunch-20 mins
-Time to relax-30 mins(Call Mom,Fix your nails,pick your dress for tomorrow,Nimbu Pani)
-Fix the alarm and sleep:))...NOW
ONE at a Time :)

It works.Never give mundane things the power to take away your peace of mind.

The Platinum Rule of Life is "Life is given to you to cherish and enjoy-breathe easy-one breath at a time.Work easy-one thing at a time-you can never do two things together anyway-why worry about more than one thing at a time?

There won't be any mood swings if your work gets done on time.Simpul na...?

Oh...and continue to read comix...and happily snuggle upto the man and the children in your life.

Take care:))

Why we dont...negotiate.

Are we ready to lead? “We” as in “women”? Far & wide, I have heard loads on diversity and how it would be great to see women on top positions. We’re strong communicators, great on the style quotient and are still struggling to make the CEO’s chair. Why?

Having seen, worked with and reported to many amazing men & women…there are a few strong issues that I’ve actively seen pull us women back.

No.1: Perception. How we perceive ourselves is critical to how fast we can make it. You are NOT bad if you are aggressive and strongly opinionated. You’ve got to stop saying “I think….” before every suggestion you make and “Isn’t it?” at the end of most sentences. You’re good…passionately believe in it and work backwards from there.

No. 2: Power. As we go up the ladder…we are increasingly reticent & shy about showing off the power we have. Many a time, we do not even realize we have some. We sympathetically “feel” for the organisation that’s hiring us/the people who are at fault/men who are more aggressive or outspoken

And do not push our point across even when we know we are right.

No. 3: Poor Financial Savvy…most women on their way up claim to have no time to plan their finances and leave it too late. They are quick to find out what the JD(Job Description) states…but do not find out what the job is worth in monetary terms in the market…and do not find out about or fight for extra allowances like joining bonuses, relocation expenses, school capitation fees, brokerage charges…

They just prefer to quietly wear their backsides slogging, happy with crumbs and paper certificates.

It’s time to do a little homework about the market value of the work we put in, stand tall and ask for 20% more than what we think the job is worth, sweetly adding,” Oh-that’s negotiable” to the figure quoted and sit back while HR drops its jaws at your breezy confidence and runs around to get approvals to add to the figure THEY had in mind for youJ!